We were busy spotting in sky our grandpa who now lives there and we kept losing coordinates.
We would go our downstairs to drink water for the fingers that went dumb counting the stars.
It seems it was a holiday next with the stars sleeping in the hall. Rooms were somewhat stuffy.
They had their arms and feet intertwined in the deep sleep.One heard their snores in milk.
The milk would spill sideways. It was so hard to keep count.We gave up locating grandpa.
As I turned the corner I saw this man exchanging confidences with a flower tree. He had three lines on the forehead , aspiring for God. His confidences were about God, plucking white flowers from the tree’s darkness. He embraced it for God. He floated on it like a flower.
He eye-contacted me for God. My own flowers were parijats that fell to the earth ,their white faces down and their red feet up. Their feet were red like Krishna’s feet on the tree , mistaken for a bird by the hunter who shot a killer arrow at it.
But we do not have our exquisite God-children dying. From the trees where they sit playing the divine flute they just turn into God who sleeps on the milky ocean, eyes closed, under a serpent’s hood.
In the barber’s shop the music is painful on the ears and I sit here as mute audience. I wait for the white shroud.
I can only recall a morning’s darkness. The darkness of a Korean poet. A Korean blanket , warm on body and dark on the eyes.
When I heard about the Korean blanket
A blanket of darkness in the soft mink,
I wanted to see inside of a Korean dark.
The same darkness is on our windows,
In embroidered needle-pricks of light
And light had a heart hid in darkness.
A shroud will now cover my darkness. Tufts of my silver hair shall fall around me like autumn leaves. There are no birds on the bare branches.
The music must go on in the white wall.
In Borges’ short story “The Plot” the gaucho is set upon by other gauchos among whom he recognizes his own godson .
“Pero Ische ?” says he . Like “Et Tu ,Brutus? “said by Caesar when he recognizes Brutus among his assassins.
He does not know he has died so that the scene could be played again .
The plot is complex and never-ending and encompasses all times and all spaces. The irony here is not inherent in the scheme of things but is only read by history.
Just now ,sitting on a granite plank opposite the electrified house,we have talked about relative truth. Is the crow’s caw there absolute or relative?
If you speak untruth the crow will bite you like in the saying. Like it used to make its clawholes in the red Lifebuoy soap in our open to sky bathroom. Is it for absolute untruth or relative truth?
Is it the same truth that was of my mother who comes down annually a crow to eat rice balls smoothly rounded by me?
We would point with index finger at the face, the face that fell silent in a room of faces.Cane chairs were all that were to be pulled but there seemed no music of the chairs that was playing ,only some more silence.
Face is not the index of the mind, its index being at the tips of eyes, where words had froze at some point of time before chairs moved from place to place.
We now sit and gawk in wonder at the face in wonder at a running face that once was, with eyes blinking behind glasses from life. We wonder at the life in the eyeballs of glass its tender ego lurking in them as wet proof of life , of animated love and responsibility
for life’s events, under illusions of control.
Our anxious chairs made no noises of faces. Their light movement betrayed no emotion,only fear of index fingers stopping to point at the immobile face , bursting with the past.
We mostly sit to worship, with the walls opposite to us leaving us no room for getting up and crossing the streets.In the marble our gods listen, from the shelves of flowers and fragrances, as if out in the garden ,in the early hours plucking white flowers from black darkness one by one.
The walls face us with their hanging gods smiling below a hole that lets in morning sun and some pleasant wind. Many times we lie to worship, with a false roof above us leaving no room for getting up and flying into space above. We mostly worship under closed eyelids, our lips muttering.
In sleep our gods come dressed in vintage dresses and jewels of exquisite beauty,their light blinding us in our closed eyes. We worship our gods in the dark caves, their bodies in stone sprouting lotuses in navels ,where a master craftsman is born. It is he who chisels our foreheads, hiding our futures in them.